The Wonderful Time Express

Spell your name with song titles from your favorite artists

O: Original Prankster - The Offspring

R: Root of All Evil - Dream Theater

V: Valerie - Reel Big Fish

I: It’s a Sin - Pet Shop Boys

L: Little piece of Heaven - Avenged Sevenfold

L: Love’s Not a Competition (But I’m Winning) - Kaiser Chiefs

E: Eternally Missed - Muse

G: Glorious - Muse

I: I’m Not Okay - My Chemical Romance

L: Limelight - Rush

B: Beautiful Lie - 30 Seconds to Mars

E: Echelon - 30 Seconds to Mars

R: Rise and Fall - The Offspring

T: Time is Running Out - Muse 

I had a really hard time leaving David Bowie out of this…

Cages

We’ve all heard about the small and presumably young injured bird who gets taken indoors to be nurtured back to health, but the story always stops as soon as the door closes behind the kid, bird in hand. Has anyone ever stopped to think, “What happens behind the door?” There are multiple endings to the story, some of them sad. So then, let’s discuss one. 

The beginning. A boy happens to stumble upon a bird who appears to be injured. With caring intent, he picks the small creature up, and brings it inside. He talks with his parents, he makes sure that they’re okay with him holding onto it. The next day, food and a cage are purchased and brought to the house to ensure the bird’s well-being. 

It doesn’t take long for the boy to grow attached to the bird. The bird is the only one who won’t judge him for anything he says. He grows to care for the bird. Cleaning the cage and feeding him have become routines that he’s started looking forward to. At this point, he’s sure that he’ll have this friend until its death. The bird seems happy to have him, and shows all due appreciation. 

Fast forward about two years 

The bird that the boy has nurtured and cared for for two years now has become domesticated. A new cage was bought when when the bird grew to its full size earlier this year. He doesn’t pat the bird’s head before leaving for school anymore.  It’s not that he doesn’t care for the bird, he loves it just the same as before. He still talks to it, it’s still the only living being that he believes to understand him. Over time, the bird made a full recovery, so he felt he didn’t need to be overly attentive to it any longer. All the while, the bird seemed more and more distant with each passing month. 

And then, that fateful day 

It had been two years. The boy brings a friend over from school. The friend asked if he could see the bird fly, and since the boy lives in a small house, he decides he’ll take it outside. He’d never seen if it could fly, himself. Upon opening the cage, the bird bolts away from his caretaker and into the horizon, almost as if possessed by something. 

Weeks, even months pass. The boy wonders if he’ll ever have his one true friend back, but begins to believe that his feathered friend will never return. He was able to promise a good future, including a place to live, food, and even treatment in the case of sickness for at least a few more years, but the offering didn’t seem to be enough.

Two weeks later 

The boy has recovered from the loss of his friend. He realizes that he must keep his eyes forward, as there is neither anything nor anybody in the world that is guaranteed to stay forever. A tear in his youthful eye, he reminisces on all of the times the bird and him shared, both good and bad. The bird had helped him to grow, and goodbye was the last thing he ever wanted to say, but alas, not even God could know if his friend would ever come back to him. He could be waiting on nothing forever, or he could go on to live the life that he’d have made worth staying around for. After all, he tried to do everything he said he would, and started to wonder how many other souls were hurt by the bird who fled at a critical moment in his life. After a light sob, the boy decides it’s time to move on, and to break out of his own cage, alone. 

The boy now looks to head off to a distant land, but always remembers, his bird was supposed to be coming with him. On one hand, he can’t shake the extreme sense of abandonment that he feels. On the other hand, he wonders if this is for the best. If the bird would leave him as soon as it got what it wanted, who’s to say it would have been a reliable friend in the future? 

-Rumasai

I feel…

Well, I’m not entirely sure how I’m feeling. That’s not to say that I’m feeling bad or anything, because really, nothing could be further from the truth. I suppose that answers that question then.

It’s been just a little over a week since I moved out of my parents’ house now. So far, things are spectacular. I’ve never been so busy with my life though. Whenever I’m awake, I’m either at work, or in the presence of a friend (within reasonable hours, of course.) There’s actually a pretty big appreciation that comes with not really having a time to think to myself. I get thirty hours of that when I’m at work, and don’t really need any more of that.

When left alone, I’m stuck thinking about things that my mind will inevitably wonder to. Regret for not having attended college. Drama. People whom I once considered “friends” who didn’t hesitate to cut me from their lives when it was convenient. August coming up. And really, just being alone in general. I must admit, for a guy who doesn’t like people very much, I sure like talking to people, and having company. Anyway, that’s enough on that note. I’ll probably elaborate on that next time I find myself in a sour mood. Anyway, back to the apartment!

As far as my finances go, I’m certain that I’ll be able to help pull things together around here. I’ll finally be getting a good paycheck from the new job soon, so that should help get some bills caught up on, get some food, I can finally catch up on my phone bill, I’ll have money to have my birthday party, and most importantly, I’ll start paying for a mode of transportation. I’m really excited. Things seem to be going my way, for sure. I can’t let myself get too comfortable just yet though. I’ve seen these moods of mine diminish it a fraction of a minute. On an optimistic note though, I don’t see that happening, after taking everything into careful consideration. I’m in a pretty good mood, and I hope it carries on.

Well, all my thoughts now displayed on my TV, I’m going to go ahead and retire for the night. Thanks for reading. Goodnight, everyone!

-Rumasai

Dear people of the world,

Okay, maybe not people of the world. Let’s narrow it down to my followers on Tumblr. That way, it doesn’t feel nearly as intimidating.

I made my account here in March of last year, if I’m not completely mistaken. After that, my first post that I took seriously came in May. Ever since, I’ve given you 109 posts, as the counter says now. In these posts, you’ve come to know my deepest inner thoughts, how I receive the world around me, what I think about certain characteristics and traits, what I think about my personal interactions with people I see on a regular basis, what I think of the world, the people I surround myself with, and the like. 

An abnormally high percentage of these posts haven’t really been happy. In fact, when thinking about what I normally type here, I typically describe my “pieces of work” as depressing, sad, and condescending. 

In the time that I’ve been posting, I’ve never really felt like I was getting anywhere in life. I’ve gone from dead-end job to dead-end job, I’ve faced unemployment, I’ve had opportunities snatched from me in the blink of an eye, it’s been a sad ride for me. That aside, I’ve been living in my parents’ house, and I’ve also dealt with two pretentious beings who were consistently condescending on me, neither of whom remain in my life.

A new dawn approaches.

I feel… Different. Warm. I’m smiling. I don’t hate my life right now. I’m in a generally good mood. I guess to summarize all of that up, and the most important statement in here, I’m actually happy.

I don’t mean to call anything too early, or to jinx anything, but this time, I really, REALLY feel like my life is coming together. I’ve got a job giving me regular hours, I’ve got an opportunity coming up to get a mode of transportation in the coming week, I’ve got my band, I have an absolutely stellar circle of friends, and, the biggest news I have to share is that I have moved. I no longer live with my parents. Something feels so… Liberating. Not that they ever really told me what to do and what not to do, but I actually have a responsibility to make sure I stay fed, and that I have a roof to sleep under from night to night. I suppose it’s a sense of accomplishment that comes with the territory.

Anyway, as I type, I’m beginning to fall asleep, as I just got home from work. So long, and thanks for reading! Goodnight!

-Rumasai

So, uhh…

Is it a normal thing to be inspired to write a song when you find yourself abruptly depressed?

A pattern of sorts

It’s pretty bizarre how my life works. Most people have good things and bad come their way at about the same rate, so they can counterbalance their mood at the end of the day.

That simply is not how things typically work in my life.

This has probably been noticed by a few different people, but the way my life works is that I’m always in an extreme. Good or bad. Happy or depressed.

It’s really odd though. It’s like, my life will be going wonderfully. I’ll have a job, a car, a girl, life is good. The next week, I’m seeking employment, am single, and I don’t have so much as a car.

Well, today, I bring what I will consider excellent news. I mentioned that I was enjoying my new job a week ago. That hasn’t changed at all. I’ve been offered a full forty hours a week, which is great. However, I’ve also been offered a consistent six hours of overtime. This is extremely exciting. I’ll be able to afford another car, hopefully in the not-too-distant future.

That aside, a car was offered to me for $2,000. If all goes as well as I would like it to, I should be driving again in naught but a few weeks.

Furthermore, I should be moving out of my house and in with a bandmate on June 8th, at least for a couple months.

So, those are the major updates of my life. Things are looking spectacular, I’m just hoping that the next step in the pattern doesn’t happen like it’s known to do. Some stability in my life would be a fantastic thing for a change…

And, quick notes!

-I apologize that The Bleak Rebellion hasn’t been able to put anything up as of recent. If not one person, then another ends up being busy, or we find that we don’t have a venue in which to practice at. We’re all hoping for Friday to be our next practice. If it is to be, then we should have videos up for your viewing in the near future.

-I’ve also taken up writing again, now that I work an overnight job where I have all the free time in the world. I’ll be continuing to write, and hopefully post something up here not too terribly long from now. I feel like there’s still a lot to develop, but I feel pretty good about it.

All that said, I’m out. Take care, everyone!

-Rumasai

Reflecting a bit, and not liking any of it

I have absolutely no idea why this is hitting me now, of all times. If anything, I figured I’d already be over this. I’m back to feeling very, very alone. I also can’t help that there’s a pretty serious part of me that feels tested, and even lied to on occasion. Now, I know that no matter who you are, you’ll have these spells. There are people who will lie to you, say things to satisfy you, act in ways that will interest you, and so on.

Even knowing this, why do I feel personally tested on an almost daily basis?

I’m an easy person to get thinking, and now that I work an overnight job where I’m absolutely alone, I have all the time in the world to think about anything and everything. It’s funny though. The time allotted to me on a daily basis to think about everything can also be used to think about nothingness, which will also get my mind going. As soon as I find a thought that catches though, there I am, thinking about every detail. It can take my mind wondering, a detailed message, or even just the drop of a word that reminds me of something to get me thinking.

Last night, I thought about the last relationship I was in. No matter how many times I cover it in my head, I can’t help but think, I was emotionally toyed with. And since then, I feel as though there are others who have done the same, but to a much less severe degree.

“You’re cute.” One says.

“I like you.” Another claims.

But the big one that I despise… “I love you.”

……………….

……………….

……………….

My current thoughts now that I’m not in that anymore…?

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead and keep saying that. You wouldn’t have fucking left me if you really did. You also said ‘I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.’ Sure, you were tired when you said it, but you even made it a point to say it to me another time or two. I was foolish to ever believe you. In fact, I don’t think you ever loved me. I was just a good pass-time while you found someone else. In our time together, you said I was unattractive, you called me so many names, and there were so many times that I left your house just to go to my bedroom, and think for hours about where I was going wrong. I kept going though. I changed. I evolved into a better man, but I was never good enough for you. I was your emotional pillow. Whether you needed to yell at me about your ex, cry about your day at work, or wanted to share something happy with me, I was unconditionally available for you. I canceled on my friends to spend time with you. I treated you like a princess. I never yelled at you. What I’m trying to say is that I loved you, and was ready to do whatever it took to make things work, and then you left me. Cut me out of your life. I still believed that we shared good times together, until you were telling someone else less then a month later that you love him. I’m done with you, and frankly, I’m glad that you feel the same way.”

I can’t fathom how I let myself stay there for four months, thinking about it now. Since then, I’ve had two girls I was interested in, however, neither panned out, so I still sit alone. It’s difficult for me. I’ve listened to “anniversary talk” and a friend playing matchmaker for the last two or three weeks. I guess it just reminds me that I don’t have anyone right now. The last person I let get close to me made me leave her.

Still, I’m ready to move on. I won’t let her slow me down. I will succeed, I will live well, and she will see what she so willingly pushed away. I feel good times coming soon. Great band in the works, new job, good plan to get a new car, I’m supposed to be moving out soon… Now, I just want someone in my life. I know that the person comes when you’re least expecting it, but damn it all, my luck hasn’t been a step above dirt in ages. Here’s to hoping, I suppose. I know good times are on their way. That said, I think I’ve got everything I need off my mind for now. I need to sleep now. My best friend is in town. Take care, and goodnight, everyone.

-Rumasai